It’s been a transformative year. I am evolved. God poured things into me…things I’ve always known, but before now was unwilling or unable upon which to act. I am changed.
Some changes are visible. Following a remarkable journey, I am now 30 lbs lighter than I have been in years. I have shed weight, along with so much that weighed me down, including fear. This has been my year of letting go.
Our children repeatedly comment on the fact that things seem to bother me less. I don't care less, but rather appreciate that there is a gracious calm born of clarity…and not everything warrants a crisis-worthy response. Life is too short and sweet to be steeped in drama. It is not necessary. This is a thing I’ve always known.
I have always also known to trust in God even when I have not always fully placed my trust there, despite knowing better. This year I began to let go. The end of this year bubbled with clear indicators that it’s time to lean in to truth, to strip away all that is unnecessary, to be all in…like this…
· “I may not always understand or even like God’s plan, but I can trust His heart and know it is for my good.” Mary Southerland
· Then there was the time I heard to same song play repeatedly (at least a half-dozen times) on Spotify during a morning walk, and these were the lyrics…
You are my refuge, in You I'll trust. You are my fortress, in You I'll trust.
I won't dread the terror by night, for angels are all around me
So I will not fear.
So I will not fear.
When I call you, You'll answer in time of trouble. When I call you, You'll answer You will deliver. I'll trust you, for I will dwell under your shadow
In Thee O Lord I'll put my trust
|thanks to Jennifer Dukes Lee for|
affirming my message from
the Universe with this image.
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God is not subtle in dealing with me; I’m not that bright. So, after enduring a season of letting go and not necessarily lightly, this has also been a season of growth. When the plans you had for yourself and your life turn out differently than you could ever have imagined, and not in a good way, and whatever illusion of control you believed you had over those things is revealed as a falsehood, you do one of two things. You get angry, pout and throw tantrums at God, or embrace His Sovereignty, acknowledge the fear that is appropriately human and reasonable (and oft times a good and right response), and keep try something new. My something new, mostly as a function of exhaustion, was giving up. That was my first step.
The thing I’ve always known is to TRUST God. I have not always done that thing, but I have always know it to be what I should do. This is my year of letting go. Letting go of control I never really had. Letting go of my useless and ineffectual need to control things far beyond my control. This is my year to let God do, because I cannot.
My OneWord365 has been pressing upon me for a while now…that word is TRUST. In trusting God, I am doing so many things differently this year. I have not settled on one verse…this year I am listening and being led by God….isn’t that what we’ve always known we should do?
So, are you brave enough to let go with me? Let’s see what God will do when we get out of His way…