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I am undertaking mastery of my lane…and announcing my OneWord for 2017…..

I am no Levite, although my desire is to live a life set aside for holiness . Almost any action can be sacred when done with a heart of...

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Saturday, December 27, 2014

Opening my heart to be filled with something new…

I’ve been thinking a lot about the lessons this hard year taught me, and what learning I will take into the year to come. Among them are this-we manufacture our stress, and can choose not to; we are instructed in 2 Corinthians to be glad, complete, and at peace. I’m taking that advice.

I feel my body tensing when I take on more than I should; doing so is disobedient, willful, and does not glorify God, so I’m opening my heart to something new; it’s a new #3WordPrayer, “Open my heart.”


Thursday, December 25, 2014

and old message, but one never out of date. Merry Christmas



I originally wrote this two years ago to encourage myself at a hard time. All the times are hard, but we are not now, nor have we ever been alone. No matter where you are in your life, or your current circumstances, God is still good, He still loves you desperately, and the Son always rises.
Let this be my last word, brothers; be glad; be complete; be comforted; be of the same mind; be at peace with one another; and the God of love and peace will be with you.
2 Corinthians 13:11 (BBE)

With all we’ve been through as a family, I felt certain that Christmas was a wrap; I just wasn’t buying in to all the hype. I generally don’t; we have always celebrated Christmas with Christ first, making gifts for family and friends, spending modestly and thoughtfully, setting an example for our children that the world’s commercialism will not taint our observation of the mystery and the miracle of the season. I had to admit, though, something was missing. I just hadn’t caught fire.

I was listening to Christmas music today while cooking dinner, and the words of one of my favorite Christmas melodies stopped be cold; I’ve loved it for years, but the lyric ministered to me in an entirely new way.

a cry arising out of brokenness,
"
Hold me together, Be forever near me…
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me your holiness,
For You are holy."
I have traveled many moonless nights,
Cold and weary with a babe inside,
And I wonder what I've done.
Holy father you have come,

And chosen me now to carry your son.

My burden was certainly not the Savior of the World, but I have often wondered silently ,and sometimes not so, why my family had to endure the trial of My Beloved’s illness. I did wonder what we’d done. My comfort came, however, in appreciating that the brokenness I experiences during this trial brought me closer to God and while it is not a path to His Throne I would have selected for myself, I am grateful to be here.

I am waiting in a silent prayer.
I am frightened by the load i bear.
In a world as cold as stone,
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now.

Be with me now.

Nights in the hospital watching him sleep, finally. Nights away from our children and our home, often at their request, so I could “take care of daddy.” I was never alone, but in the stillness of the midnight, it felt that way. It was always only the Breath of Heaven holding me together.  

Breath of heaven
Hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me your holiness,
For you are holy.
Breath of heaven.

Do you wonder as you watch my face,
If a wiser one should have had my place,
But i offer all I am
For the mercy of your plan.
Help me be strong.
Help me be.
Help me.

Breath of heaven,
Hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me your holiness,
For you are holy.

Breath of heaven,
Hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me your holiness,
For you are holy.
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven.

Breath of heaven.

I now begin to understand why we had to endure this trial; why I needed to be brought to this place; why this was my path. Why I had to be broken, again. Why I will break over, and over, and over again, and be glad in the breaking, as it is in that moment that this is my story, this is the lesson I will work on for now: Brokenness is that very point at which I meet God. AGAIN. DIFFERENTLY. God breaks something new in me, and I'm thankful. Because though I am broken, He did not build me to break beyond His restoring Grace. And He never meant for us to go it alone.

That is when I understood the Breath of Heaven. It is a desperate plea for connection. It is a cry arising out of brokenness-Hold me together, Be forever near me…Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me your holiness, For you are holy.

That was my Christmas miracle-the arrival of the spirit that humbles me and gives me joy, a hope and the understanding that during the times of my greatest fear, He breathed on me, lighting my darkness, drawing high, healing.

I am ready to welcome Immanuel. I am ready to face a New Year. I am prepared to tackle my biggest fears and accomplish my God-sized dream, knowing that what I think it might be is probably too small a concept for God and that as long as He breathes on my brokenness, I will succeed.

Merry Christmas



Breath of Heaven by Chris Eaton and Amy Grant






Sunday, December 21, 2014

Stay low....

I'm writing over at 5 Minutes for Faith again today, and I'm talking career and parenting advice straight from the Baby in the Manger. Crazy? Well, maybe, but that's me, and that's God in my life. Join me?

Saturday, December 6, 2014

Trying to remember my before in order to appreciate how sweet this after is...(a recent FB status…)


According to Wikipedia,
The biblical commandments concerning the Passover (and the Feast of Unleavened Bread) stress the importance of remembering:
·         And thou shalt remember that thou wast a bondman in Egypt; and thou shalt observe and do these statutes" (Deuteronomy 16:12).
·         Exodus 12:14 commands, in reference to God's sparing of the firstborn from the Tenth Plague: And this day shall be unto you for a memorial, and ye shall keep it a feast to the LORD; throughout your generations ye shall keep it a feast by an ordinance forever.
·         Exodus 13:3 repeats the command to remember: Remember this day, in which you came out of Egypt, out of the house of bondage, for by strength the hand of the LORD brought you out from this place.
I observe a newly-righted relationship with God.
 Surrendered. Subject. Grateful.
CLICK TO TWEET THIS

If God treats you well by teaching you a disastrous lesson, you never forget it. 
~Ray Bradbury

It is my personal celebration of the Passover. I chose to be deliberate about remembering Before, my season in the wilderness, numerous failed attempts to surrender, my journey from breaking to broken, and finally the moment of my absolute despair, the acknowledgement that God would either end my season or give me fortitude to bear it with Grace, or possibly, just maybe, the form of His Blessing for this time in my life might be Passover, if only that I would remember to sing the songs, remember to offer the prayers, to continually tell the story in order that I might fully appreciate how sweet my after could be.

I celebrate my Passover. I observe a newly-righted relationship with God, surrendered, subject, Grateful. At the point of my despair, I believed that testimonies I heard shared would never be mine; not that I wouldn’t live with an enduring faith, but that I might never get to proclaim how He brought me over. Humbly, I accepted that it would never be for me. I was wrong.

I celebrate my Passover, and it does not come but once a year. Celebrating Passover is now my daily worship. I commit to living a life of gratitude in thanks for the blessing I feared might never come. And the blessing? It’s neither a thing, nor a place. It is an appreciation of my present joy. It is the practice of declaring God’s goodness, and trusting that in Him I am many things, but never abandoned, never without hope, never beyond Joy.

From a traditional Passover prayer, these are the words I carry within me…

Lord, thank You for the trials You brought me through. I pledge never to forget. For myself, for us all, may it be Your Will to redeem us from all trouble and servitude. Next year at this season may we all be free. 
Selah and Amen



OneWord 2015

OneWord 2015

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