A soft answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.
but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Proverbs 15:1 (NKJV)
Why
are we so mean?? How often do you say or do something only because you feel
provoked? According to Dr. Monica A.
Frank, Clinical and Sport Psychologist,
"...most people are mean due to some flaw in
themselves or distortion in their thinking. Usually, unless you have done
something significant, it is not about you." So what would happen if we
tried something different?
It’s time for a moult. I’m shedding a skin, ready to be a little
different than I was before. I don’t
want to be so mean. I don’t like how it
sounds coming out of me, I don’t like how it feels coming at me. I’m finding soft words.
As the mother of two teen-agers, a woman of a certain age, married more than 21 years, I know harsh words and the ruin left in their wake. I’ve tried a number of analogies, e.g., nails
in a piece of wood and the scars they leave, pin pricks in a balloon unseen but
no less damaging, I try to model the right behavior, but I’m not always good at
living the lesson. It’s time for a
moult, I’m going to choose to find soft words, or else.
Just this morning, Pinky and the Brain (one of my
many nicknames for my beautiful babies) were sniping at each other in the
car. I’d just read Proverbs 15:1, and
decided to practice what I intended to preach.
We talked about it, I had Pinky read the NIV translation, just to be
clear, and we talked about what that might look like. I’m challenging myself to find the soft
words, or the quiet, not just today but long enough for it to become a habit.
I don’t like the harsh sound of my own voice, and
if I don’t like being on the receiving end of unkindness, I certainly should
not dish it out. I don’t deserve
to be treated that way, and if I don’t, why should anybody else?
A dear friend signs every email with a quote from
Mahatma Gandhi, “be the change you want to see in the world.” I’m taking her,
and his advice. I’m finding soft
words. It’s easy to pick a fight. It’s harder to choose not to…you see, you
always have a choice.
I choose Grace.
I choose soft words. Reading
further into Proverbs 15 (Proverbs 15:13 NKJV) I find the payoff, not that I
really needed it. You see, “a merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken. “ Had I to
meet my judgment now, I'd choose cheery countenances. Do you want to explain a string of broken
spirits? Go right ahead.
I’m choosing Grace, and am thankful for the choice. I’m thankful that no matter my circumstances,
I am blessed with an abundance of good things to choose. That abundance is my reminder that God is
Good.
