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Tuesday, February 25, 2014

I hereby resign my position as superhero.

How abundant are the good things
    that You have stored up for those who fear You,
that You bestow in the sight of all,
    on those who take refuge in You.
In the shelter of Your presence You hide them
    from all human intrigues;
You keep them safe in Your dwelling
    from accusing tongues.
Psalms 31:19-20 (NIV)

I’m hanging up the cape, laying down the shield, giving back the ring (okay that’s about it for the DC and Marvel references for anyone keeping score). I hereby resign my position as superhero. I’ve seen the goodness of God, experienced the indescribable luxury of resting in Him, and now trying to do it by myself just doesn’t feel the same anymore. While I will feel better about this decision tomorrow, tonight I am weary, defeated, and close to tears.

When I called my mommy weeping, she told me to take a bath, brew some tea, and head to bed. Mommy, I am bathed, sated, and resting comfortably while tapping out my thoughts before laying myself down. I am so very grateful for you, your faith in God, and your constant encouragement of me. Thank You, Lord, for a praying mama. 
Why settle for piddly human solutions...
at best a patchwork quilt
to cover the mess,
when God has stored up abundant good things for me.

Attributed to David, Psalms 31 Matthew Henry gives context to the words in which I find such great comfort, writing
David professes his cheerful confidence in God, and, in that confidence, prays for deliverance out of his present troubles. He complains of the very deplorable condition he was in, and, in the sense of his calamities, still prays that God would graciously appear for him against his persecutors.
Yup, that pretty much sums up my day. There is a children’s book that comes to mind, detailing a “Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.” It wasn’t just the circumstances of what happened today so much as it was the realization that the way I’ve responded to days like that in the past just wasn’t going to work for me anymore. I’m opting out.

Why settle for piddly human solutions that are at best a patchwork quilt to cover the mess, when just over the hill are the abundant good things stored up by God for me. He offers refuge and safety, and I’m coming in from the cold. While I committed to spending my season in the crucible, somehow I wiggled my way out.  I forgot myself for a moment; thought I could do it on my own.  David’s words remind me that in the shelter of His Presence we are hidden from all human intrigue, all foolishness, even that of our own making. Why settle?

I am begging you to pray for me. Please help me to be delivered from myself. Lord, once more, I humbly surrender. I want refuge. I desire Your good things. I want to be kept safe in Your Dwelling Place. Saving the world is for the birds--I quit.

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