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Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Not your own doing… “I got this” says God…

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.
Ephesians 2:8-9 (ESV)

According to Holley Gerth, “the most important part of any God-sized dream is the Giver of it.” We were challenged to set aside a particular time this week to be with Him–to pray, journal, take a walk or simply sit quietly and listen. What did my heart hear?

Not your own doing… “I got this” says God…

I’m back in the fight, engaging in warfare; I’ve spent too much time there lately. I could be battle weary and ready to give in, But God. Just in time apparently, I recently acquired the habit, thanks to Shelly Miller and my sisters at the Surrendering to Sabbath Society of decelerating on Saturday night in preparation for Sabbath practice. By midday Saturday, I find myself slowing, becoming quiet and still, embracing repose. Because I know I will not write on the Sabbath, I look forward to Sundays as time for worship, study, and hearing. There is less noise, less of me, more room made for Him. We spend Sabbath together. 
Even if I could stop, You've broken my heart open, 
crushed it such that without You
not only could I not dream, I would not exist.

I am grateful, because lately I need to hear from Him. I am frightened. So much is coming at us and we only have faith on which we can rely. It is one thing to have faith; quite another to feel like it is the ONLY thing you’ve got. Lord, if it weren’t for You right now, surely, I would be lost. So, when I believe I need to lay aside my dreams to engage in another battle for our lives, I am grateful for that Voice in the silence reminding me that the Grace that saved me I did not earn. The Grace that carries us we did not create, cannot sustain. You whisper in my ear, “this is not your own doing. I Got This.

In my fear, I determine to focus on survival to the exclusion of my dreams. But God…You remind me that You planted those dreams within me. You remind me that even during the biggest battles, You send Your Word to me in dreams. You send visions of my victories over my torments. But God. You never let me stop dreaming, even while I am afraid. You tell me that those dreams are Your way of making me “go further, dig deeper,  and draw closer…” to You. The dreams You planted within me are Your “invitation for more intimacy…” Even if I wanted to stop dreaming, You’ve broken my heart open, crushed it even, such that without You, not only could I not dream, I simply would not exist. But God…

All we have right now is faith. There is nothing else. And this is the faith that sustains us…it is faith on the battlefield. It is faith in the midst of storms. It is faith, Your Voice saying “this is not your own doing. I Got This.” Saying “yes, it may very well hurt. A LOT. It may very well scare you like nothing ever has, but this, this overcoming is NOT YOUR OWN DOING. I Got This. So dream, my child. Never stop dreaming. Your dreams are My Voice in your ears. And I GOT THIS.”

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