My soul finds
rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him.
Psalm 62:1 (NASB)
When I have pushed too
hard, rested not enough, carried more than I should, I feel tired. I know
tired. Tired means taking time to rest. Tired puts her feet up. Tired takes a
warm bath and goes to bed early. Today I am not tired. Today I am weary.
Weary feels like too
much broken glass, shards flying everywhere. Weary spills tears without warning.
Weary craves quiet, while tired doesn’t so much mind the din. Tired appreciates
the blue of midday skies, weary is just plain blue.
I’m hearing Billie
Holliday in my head, “Good morning, heartache.” Billie could turn a phrase, speaking
to pain like an intruder in the room. I don’t want to talk to my blues, I want
them gone.
I’m just wallowing in being human. Lately, I am paralyzed by my
humanness. My soul knows that all is well, and that the peace that passes
understanding soon comes, but right now I need a break. I’ve grown weary. Weary
is an empty cup, and Lord I beg You for an infilling.
In my weariness, I will be silent. Lord, send me stillness so
I can hear from you. There has been too much noise, and I am way past tired. My
soul finds rest in You alone, Lord, so with the last ounce of strength I believe I have, I run to You. Even in my weariness…
On
Thursdays, I pray and and play with friends here...
