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Friday, December 28, 2012

Days 28 of 31-2013-Looking back and looking forward…

With long life I will satisfy him
    and show him my salvation.
Psalms 91:16 (NIV)

18 years ago today, as I write this, my beautiful niece, then only a teen, took her own life. i know little about suicide, but have always envisioned that for her life simply became too hard, and she felt she wasn't strong enough. She was wrong, and I wish I could have told her so in time to save her life. As I think about my brother's middle child, gone too soon, and my granny, who turns 94 tomorrow, I realize how rich a blessing this reminder is to me, a welcome message from the Universe. “Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many. Thank You, Lord. 

I  want to live my days to the fullest. If it be God’s Will,
they might be long.
Whatever may be, I affirm that
I will be active in practicing the presence of God
with all that I am,
treating my life and my actions with
reverence, to honor what was,
and what is to come.
TWEET THIS THOUGHT
According to Matthew Henry’s commentary on Psalms 91:16, “they shall live long enough: they shall be continued in this world till they have done the work they were sent into this world for and are ready for heaven, and that is long enough…” I guess that means my niece’s journey was at an end and my Granny still has work to do. Somehow, the thought comforts me, both in missing one and celebrating the other.

Lord, I am asking You to keep those whose desperation might drive them to believe they are not worthy of life. They are. I am also beseeching You to guide and guard those who have lived, but whom You are not ready to call home.

Here is the lesson I take away from today. Brokenness, such as I imagine my niece might have felt, draws me closer to the throne of Grace. When I am broken, I look to Him for healing, knowing that restoration is found in His embrace. When I think of my Granny, who will awaken to greet her 94th year, I know that the steps of a goodly woman are ordered by the Lord, and that she has never walked alone. I want to live my days to the fullest, and pray that, if it be God’s Will, they might be long. Whatever may be, I affirm that I will be active in practice the presence of God with all that I am, treating my life and my actions with reverence, to honor what was, and what is to come.

I am nothing without You, Lord, so I am thankful that You are in control.


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