I'm not saying this because I'm in any need. I've learned to be content in whatever situation I'm in.
Philippians 4:11 (GW)
I’ve spent the last month in prayer and contemplation about the year to come, my prayerful declaration that I will publish this year, my full acknowledgement that surrender is not easy but it is what I am called to do anyway. Here are some of the things I’ve learned….
I’ve finally made my peace with James’ “contentment.” The last time I wrote about it, I was ranting in the basement after a Hurricane, babysitting the dog. This afternoon, running errands with my son, he asked if I was happy. Thoughtfully, I responded “ I am content. I am not un-happy, and I believe that contentment resides somewhere between happy and unhappy.” Hmmm…I reiterated that I was not unhappy, and as I considered, I suddenly realized that “happy” isn’t a very useful term to describe my circumstances. There are times when I feel great joy, other times satisfaction, a sense of accomplishment, trepidation, excitement, etc. I don’t think happy is enough any longer. It’s too non-specific. Happy, I think we’re done. Contentment, now that’s a kind of a soul deep thing, requiring prayer, some maturity, patience. All things I desire more of…
While I didn’t participate in One Word last year, life chose my word for me, and it was SURRENDER. Since I started writing my blog, I talked a lot about it, but I didn’t really begin to understand it until later. I’ll be revealing my One Word for 2013 tomorrow, and I’m excited. It is truly a testament to how far God has brought me. I am humbled, and excited about where we’re going next.
I’ve met some of the most remarkable women in the formation of the Dream Team, and the work hasn’t even really begun yet. I already care deeply about them, laugh with them, we pray together. Behold how good and pleasant it is…
I’ve learned, and will take into the New Year that life is always easier when I spend time in prayer first. Pray, breathe, and dance anyway. That might be my new mantra…
I’ve come to appreciate rest, so while I won’t necessarily be posting every day, I will rest on the sevens. It’s a good habit to cultivate, I have a good role model, it’s an all around good thing.
My house smells wonderful-homemade Trini pepper sauce (the family recipe), orange marmalade bubbling (in the crockpot, no less), my son baking ninja-break men (it’s a martial arts thing, you might not understand). It’s time to prepare for the Karamu. There will be codfish buljol, greens, black-eyed peas, fried chicken and all manner of goodies (I have a friend bringing Julia Child’s chocolate mousse…this stuff is good enough to be called a sacrament). It has been our tradition to open our home on the first day of the year, choosing to spend it with friends and extended family, including a few folks who haven’t missed a party in nearly 20 years. I believe that the way you begin the year is the way it will be…a day filled with laughter, love, and enough. There is a comfortable feeling; a peaceful spirit; I cannot wait. A comfortable feeling; a peaceful spirit...not only for the first day of the year but for every last one of them..
Finally, I have put perspective on the difficult trials this year took us through, and this is the lesson,
An arrow can be shot only by pulling it backward. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that it’s going to launch you into something great.
Goodbye and farewell, 2012. It’s time to launch into the great things. I haven’t forgotten. I am trusting You Father, not out of a sense of obligation, but because in You is where I belong. I was not designed to be a steering wheel, and You are not my spare tire. I love you, and am deeply grateful to belong to You. Now and Forever. From everlasting to everlasting. Your love, Your guidance, Your unwavering presence in my life, all reminders that You are Good. And in Control. I surrender. Joyfully (not happily, contentedly).
On Mondays, I pray and play with friends here...