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Chaos, Social Justice, and Facing Fear in order to Seek God's Face

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in You.  Isaiah 26:3 A warning in advance-in...

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Saturday, September 15, 2012

Hiding among the baggage…

So they asked the LORD, "Where is he?" And the LORD replied, "He is hiding among the baggage."
1 Samuel 10:22 (NLT)
(in)courage asked, “how do we stop hiding from and open ourselves up to community?” My answer might surprise you. I am more open, more transparent, more out there in cyberspace, than I was in the offline world. I’m catching up to myself, but it’s been a journey.

An act of faith allowed
me to come out of hiding,
and that choice makes me who I now am. 
My close friends know me, the me unadorned. I trust them implicitly; even if they judge or criticize (we are all flawed and human). Online, I am brave, and shockingly honest. Online, I made the leap of faith to become a writer. Putting my words out there, mostly unmeasured, frank, seeking fellowship and community. I was unafraid.

I am not afraid in my regular life, I am measured. I have joked in my professional persona, you know, one of the facets of my personality, that even my impulses are planned. I’m not that controlled, but I am careful. In my professional persona, careful and diligent were my stock in trade.

With age, faith, and wisdom, I became brave. It wasn’t that I traded in all my facets, more like they synthesized (maybe by the refining fires of my life?) into a whole me. The work professional. The mommy. The wife. The neighbor. The sister, the friend, the mentor, dancer, athlete, rebel, sinner saved by grace.
Saul was afraid. Despite Samuel’s full assurances that he was anointed to be king, he was afraid. Fear is natural, but not of God; that’s not the spirit He placed within us. Saul had no capacity to change himself, and neither do we…that was, that is, up to God.

So, to the original question, how do we stop hiding, come out from behind our baggage and open ourselves up to community? It’s probably an accident. I won’t pretend to have been brave, and in looking back, I’m only glad that I did move my baggage and peek out, not caring how or why. God changed me, erasing my fear just long enough for me to rush into His waiting arms. Where it’s not scary. Where I’m still hiding, but in a good place. Hiding where my loved ones are; where my sisters are; safe beneath the shadow of His Wing.

An act of faith allowed me to come out of hiding, and that choice makes me who I now am. The writer. The faithwalker.  And I like her.  Actually, I love her.  She is my own special gift from God. And that simple act of faith, that embrace of Grace, is certain evidence that God loves me, whether I’m great, whether I’m good, or still very much a work in progress. That Grace is my reminder that God is good.  

Today I am praying and playing with Sandra Heska King in Still Saturday and especially (in)courage

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