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Thursday, August 2, 2012

Today marks the day I gave birth to a son…

For this child I prayed, and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of Him.
1 Samuel 1:27 (KJ21)
(published on the birth announcements for each of our children)

A star danced, and under that I was born.
~William Shakespeare

image from a card we received upon his birth...
Today marks the day I gave birth to my son, our second child.  It is a beautiful day, not unlike the one I remember 12 years ago.  It was so different from my first confinement (what a charming, antiquated word). It was scheduled; it was calm; I was without fear and entirely in command of myself.  The poor young nurse attending me was the one I worried about; it was her first day at work and the child was clearly flustered. I soothed her, directing her to slow down and take her time, laughing gently and encouragingly (I hope) at her frustrations.

Looking back, I see now that God was entirely in control. I was fully surrendered to His Will, and to the notion that this was the day my child would come. There was nothing for me to do but await the blessing. 

Throughout my life, there is a mantle of peace passing all understanding that lays over me just when I need it most. In reading Matthew Henry’s Complete Commentary on the Whole Bible, he writes the following of Hannah and Eli’s prayers for a child…

Prayer is heart's-ease to a gracious soul; the seed of Jacob have often found it so, being confident that God will never say unto them, Seek you me in vain, see Philippians 4:6,7. Prayer will smooth the countenance…

On the day I gave birth to my son, on the days of my grandfather and father’s passing, in times of crisis, a spirit inhabits me that I cannot explain, though I know it is the Spirit of the Lord. I get things done. I am patient. I am focused. I am at peace. There is fluidity in the movement of my mind and my body through space at which I marvel when looking back. It is not me. It is the very best of me, open, tuned, connected to my Soul’s Source. While I do not yearn to go through what it takes to bring me to this place, I crave resting there.

This is my birthday wish for my son. I pray he continues to grow strong, wise, wonderful, of loving and giving spirit. I pray that his heart remains open. I pray he would continue to be obedient to God’s Will, growing in discernment and faith. I pray for him much laughter, and knowledge learned with minimal hurt and heartbreak. I pray for him great joy, and an appreciation of quiet. I desire that God would continue to grow him into the mighty man of God he designed him to be, reminiscent of his father and grandfathers, great-grandfathers and all the ancestors in whose footsteps he walks.

I thank him for the unique bliss I never knew until I mothered a son. I thank him for the giggles and smiles we’ve shared and those that will be, for years to come. I thank him for the woman he makes me want to be, and promise to give the best of myself as his mommy until my heart stops, and beyond.

Happy Birthday, my strong and beautiful black prince. Every time I look into your eyes I am reminded that God is good.

OneWord 2015

OneWord 2015

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