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Monday, September 19, 2011

Really not nice….(the mommy version)


He Treats Me to a Feast; Notes from my Abundant Life



Really not nice….(the mommy version)

Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.
1 Peter 3:8-9(NIV)



I should’ve taken a nap yesterday.  Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten out of bed.  I was a very bad mommy, and today I’m sorry.  Ed Asner once said that “raising a kid is part joy and part guerilla warfare.” Yesterday I spent mostly on the battlefield.  When I wrote “Not nice,” I was talking about an emotional bully.  Yesterday, I was the one behaving badly.

I am trying, desperately, to see my glass half full.  I really try to put a positive face on things, but the truth of the matter is, I’m wearing thin.  Just this morning, my daughter complained that I’m always perky and happy.  She has no idea…

My daughter has so much potential.  Seeing all those possibilities, I can set expectations for her pretty high.  She is so very capable of consistently exceeding them that I am a Grinch when she defaults to being a normal, hormonal teen aged girl.  Pumpkin, I’m sorry, this blog is for you.

If I’m being authentic, I fall short of the glory regularly.  Yesterday in particular, I wasn’t nice.  Notwithstanding choices with which I often disagree, there is no valid, Godly reason for me to be so hard on my girl.  I’m not going to do it anymore.  I’m open to any reader, and certainly to You, Lord, for inspiration on how to do it right.  I’ve learned not to yell so much.  Now I have to master not being so nasty-nice.  I think it’s probably worse.  (Both kids tell me they’re creeped out when I’m clearly angry but calm, that they’ll just have to get used to, but I will work on conveying my displeasure without needing to resort to just being plain mean.

Not that it matters, but I think I understand from whence that frustration comes…I wish my children would be more spontaneously considerate.  I try to model that behavior to them, but frankly I feel like they mistake my kindnesses for entitlements, and that kind of inconsiderate behavior I simply will not abide. 

Here’s today’s lesion.  Repay evil (read the inconsiderate tyranny of an indulged child) with a blessing.  I want to be worthy to inherit my blessings.  I pray to pass them along to my children in a way that they may both give and receive them.  I won’t master this lesson today, but I will begin to try. God’s Grace accompanies me on this journey, because even when I am really not being nice, I feast in His abundance.  And humbled, ashamed and embarrassed, but hopeful, I remember once again that God is Good. 

1 comment:

  1. This was so heartfelt! I really enjoyed reading it as I think all us moms get to that point somewhere along the way.

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