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Friday, September 16, 2011

Not nice….(for my godson)

He Treats Me to a Feast; Notes from my Abundant Life


Not nice….(for my godson)

Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
Ephesians 5:1-2 (NIV)


My “Gayle” called me this morning, mad.  (Oh come on, if you’ve fantasized at least once about being Oprah, you know who a “Gayle” is…) I was honored that she sought my advice …Lord only knows why she trusts me, but taking the responsibility seriously, I endeavor to be sober and Godly when I’m offering advice….

Apparently, my godson is having a bit of a “bromance” with the popular kid in his class.  Alas, his “bromantic” feelings are unrequited, and in fact, his friend is more than a little ugly in letting him know, as it randomly suits him, that my boy’s offers to play and hang out are unwelcomed.  Sometimes he’s so unkind as to send my dear boy away in tears (he’s only 6).  Truthfully, the boy is more of a frenemy….

She called me, hot like fire, because no one wants to see their baby hurt.  We all know the feeling of being rejected; being odd man out, or watching someone we love being mistreated and wishing, praying, they’d just stop running towards the abuse instead of in the opposite direction.  My girl needed to be talked OFF THE LEDGE.

Not only have I witnessed similar interactions, I remember the feeling.  It may well be the reason I appreciate my perspective as observer as much as participant in social settings.   Nobody likes someone who’s not nice.

My best advice to my godson’s mother was to help him articulate his feelings about being mistreated.  In a Christian school setting, I also suggested she ask him if that’s the way God wants us to treat one another.  Finally, I told her to give it time, patiently plant the seeds.  He might decide today to give up his bromance; it might take a while before he acknowledges rejection and meanness as things to be avoided at all reasonable cost…I also suggested that instead of pouring her frustration into him, which would be perfectly human, she call and vent to me (it certainly seemed to help her this morning; we were both laughing by the time we ended the call).

I love my Gayle.  I love my godson.  I am thankful that God placed them in my life, mostly so that I can articulate to them lessons they will need to teach me sometime soon.

Ephesians gives us instruction on how we should behave. Boiled down, it’s simple.  We should be nice; love one another.  Simple.  Simple is better.  Simple is elegant.  Simplicity is pure, like the love of God.  And when I get bogged down in all of the intricacies of my life and my world, I am reminded, simply, that God is good.

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