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Monday, June 13, 2011

Time to finally let it go…

He Treats Me to a Feast; Notes from my Abundant Life

Time to finally let it go…

God deliberately chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise.
1 Corinthians 1:27

As soon as I stopped worrying,  worrying how the story ends
I let go and I let God, let God have His way
That's when things start happening
When I stopped looking at back then
I let go and I let God, let God have His way 
Let Go, DeWayne Woods

I’m having disturbing dreams.  According to my very smart husband, these dreams are evidence that I feel like my life is out of control.  I’ve got it together on the outside, and I believe, for the most part, that all is well, but when I close my eyes in sleep….I dream that I’m homeless.  When I close my eyes…I dream that I’ve parked the car, but it’s either been towed or stolen, and I can’t get where I need to be on time.  In the wake of such dreams, I quietly feel as though I am losing my mind. 

In my posting Message to the Universe, I’ve been here, pondering Jeremiah 29:11 before.  I’m not as patient as I need to be; and my faith could certainly use some bolstering.  Even when writing about scheduling challenges with children and trying to make it all work, I haven’t had dreams like this.  So, perhaps, I am at a crossroads.  Lord, is there something new I need to be thinking about, or doing differently? Am I suffering the effects of pride? Are my crazy dreams “things the world considers foolish”???

Lately, I’m reading Entering the Castle: An Inner Path to God and Your Soul by Caroline Myss, where she “challenges readers to get in touch with their own souls and…. prepare for a mystical meeting with God.” (from a review by Publishers Weekly) She writes about the surprising ways in which God can “get to you.” Is that the key to my dreams? Have I gone as far as I can on this path, this way? Must I go deeper?

Well, I’m not going quietly, and I’m not going alone.  So let’s go, and let it go.  What’s stymieing you? What’s honestly keeping you from moving it all forward.  What’s got you blocked?

I can admit it.  I am at another place in my life where I will not move forward without releasing my need to control everything.  I can’t even sleep peacefully, and if this is God speaking through my dreams, it is none too kindly, Lord. It’s time to seek restful sleep.  Psalm 4: 8 (NIV) says I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety…

So it’s not like there isn’t a solution, and it’s not as though I have to do it alone.  I’ve got a road map, and a guide.  I have a Protector, and He Knows My Name.

He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And hears me when I call
He Knows My Name
by Israel

It’s time to finally let it go, as I haven’t any choice.  I need my sleep. And, with scary, silly, foolish dreams, and fear of falling or failing, still He knows my name.  I am known.  I was chosen, and being chosen is special. Being chosen like this is just Further evidence that God is good.  

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