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Saturday, July 25, 2015

I Am #SandraBland

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Romans 12:15-18 ESV

I am #SandraBland
A call to action I could not let pass…I honored the memory and the family of #SandraBland by changing my profile picture on Facebook to her image as her family prepares to lay her body to rest today, as her mother vows to be “ready for war;” ensuring that her daughter’s abuse at the hands of an unchecked state trooper does not go unaddressed. So many FB friends immediately responded with kind words about seeing my face and how beautiful I looked…that’s when it hit me. The image both isn’t and is me.

I am #SandraBland.  In making my peace with present-day matters of race, gender, and power in America; in finding a way through my disappointment, frustration, and fear, I had to embrace that I am #SandraBland.

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Grateful for a tantrum

Balance, and good order.

For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints." 1 Corinthians 14:33 (KJV) 

Neither author nor affirm crazy.
Pull series and sequence together where neither exists.
Make beauty. Make peace.

Thursday was a mess. Without warning, my day deteriorated into real crap, a mass of ugly words and hot tears. Despite that, I profess deep gratitude for lessons of restraint I have learned, mitigating what I could have said or the way I might have reacted. Though Thursday was bad, it could have been worse. Bless God, I stopped talking. I listened intently rather than waiting to respond. I took myself and my issues OUT of the equation in order to pay attention to what was happening rather than the way I felt about it. It could have been worse, but it was not. Moreover, thank God for the voices of people I love, encouraging me and reminding me that no matter how I felt, it was all going to be okay. And, at sunset, as raindrops fell, a friend from heaven sent faeries in the form of fireflies. Even gone, you are always right on time. Thank You, Lord, for multiple reminders that all shall be well as taught by Julian of Norwich...even on hard days. 

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Once again, I am breathing through hot water…

These are my words. This is my pain. This is directed at no one, but at this moment, this is what I must say. I cannot hold my peace.  

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
    and saves those who are crushed in spirit
Psalms 34:18 (NIV)

I cling to the words of this Psalm right now, knowing that His Will is sovereign and everything is already alright.  Please, Father, be near me. I need you now.

I grew up in church on Wednesday nights. A PK, I still remember where I was or at least where I was supposed to be every night of the week. I could easily have been a victim
like the nine souls carried into the Arms of Grace by a madman, who entered a church “to shoot black people.” That could have been my church. Those people could have been my family. The sad reality about America the Beautiful is that we are divided. Until we address the pain American racism continues to cause, to ignore it, particularly in the wake of such carnage, and in a church no less, is as Jon Stewart so beautifully put it, is to ignore "the nexus of a just gaping racial wound that will not heal, yet we pretend doesn’t exist."

OneWord 2015

OneWord 2015

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