On living broken…

Rejoice evermore.  Pray without ceasing.

In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. Quench not the Spirit.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-19 (KJ21)

before something else breaks,
I’m throwing up my hands to yield.
 Not only am I not fighting,
I’m also not playing the victim.
I will praise while I wait,
and trust more deliberately
TWEET THIS!

Amanda, writing at hill+pen left words on the screen, saying something this broken vessel desperately needed. I have made peace with brokenness, understanding that embracing it gives me permission to be free, honest, to look at the scariest things, go to the deepest places, to  trust, to grow. To learn, but not to heal. I never want to be unbroken. Not ever. My brokenness keeps me close to the Throne, hiding under the shelter of His Wings, as it is He Who alone holds me together. My brokenness (and my buddy) remind me that I am nothing without shelter.

Despite my having made my peace, my brokenness occasionally leaves me more weary than hopeful. So to read…

“Dreams are for the broken. For those who hold their arms out wide and say Lord, I can’t bear it any longer. Help me find a way, with the talents you’ve entrusted to me, to serve. To find joy.
To laugh. "

gave me hope when I thought I was all out.  I needed some hope. You see,  God gave me vision of walking out of my wilderness, but for now,  I'm still here. 

I’m here but He does not leave me beyond the reach of His Grace. Every day He whisper some reminder of His Love, His Faithfulness, my brokenness and His Promises.  All day today. One of my sweet dreaming sisters Amber wrote this, and I was certain it was for me…

“Watching those who tread a deep valley without losing faith, no matter how long the journey, is beautiful.”

Lord, I read the words, I received the lesson, “never give up.” I’m trying.

I’ve needed this lesson before, in Paul’s words, long before I’d realized the wilderness is where I was and I needed to make my way, By Grace, out. In Paul’s first epistle to the Thessalonians there is the kind of encouragement I'd want in the trenches. Rejoice (all the time, because there's always a blessing in there…) Pray (all the time, because there is always a blessing for which we should be deeply grateful). In everything give thanks (see the previous sentence). Quench not the Spirit (because who wouldn't want a deeper immersion in the Holy Spirit?)  Hold it, I think this is where I need to stay…Quench not the Spirit.

So what have I not been doing? I did a little research on the ways we might “quench the Spirit” because on its face, it doesn’t seem to make much sense. One preacher wrote that quenching the spirit occurs when we resist His ministry to us by failing to yield to God (ouch), saying no when He calls us (yikes), attempting to direct ourselves instead of being obedient (eek!) Just last week I confessed that I’d gotten too wrapped up in trying to handle it all and now I’m here. 

So before something else breaks, I’m throwing up my hands to yield. Not only am I not fighting, I’m also not playing the victim. I  will praising while I wait,  I’m trusting more deliberately that He will “Help me find a way, with the talents …entrusted to me, to serve. To find joy. To laugh. " Thank you, Amanda. Thank You Lord.

On Wednesdays, I pray and and play with friends here...

Women Living Well Wednesdays

Good Morning Girls

Internet Cafe Devotions

New Life Steward

Deep Roots at Home

Getting Down with Jesus

A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

http://www.simplyhelpinghim.com/2012/11/14/i-used-to-need-people-with-wisdom-wednesday-link-up/

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I got nothin'...(Come join me at Circles of Faith)

Where can I go from your Spirit?
   Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
   if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
   if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
   your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me   and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
   the night will shine like the day,
   for darkness is as light to you.

Psalms 139:7-12(NIV)

When I wrote this originally, I could relate to the Oprah Winfrey’s Sofia from The Color Purple, when she said,

“I know what it like to wanna go somewhere and caint. I know what it like to wanna sing... and have it beat out ya. I want to thank you, Miss Celie, fo evrything you done for me. I members that day in the store with Miss Millie - Is feelin real down. Is feelin mighty low. And when I seed you - I knowd they is a God. I knowd they is a God."

I was having a sad and sorry day. When I allowed myself to sink into the depth, I found that I couldn’t stay there long.  This lesson is fundamental to my faith, to the how and why I write, why I know that

when life gets particularly rough, there is comfort in that in an imperfect world, a perfect God loves us and abides with us through all things, reminding me that my cup is never empty and my blessings overflow. Come join me at Circles of Faith to read more…

I gave my daughter my last dollar this morning.  Looking into my wallet, I thought, “I got nothin’.” I was expecting a deposit to hit my account this; it hadn’t arrived.  (Good thing I didn’t make a pre-drop off production of getting to the bank; that could’ve proved embarrassing…)  Clearly I needed to remember from whence my provision comes.  Sighing quietly, clear that it was solely my business and no one else’s burden, I gave away the cash.

“I got nothin’.”

I am my brother’s keeper (we all are)…

Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?”

“I don’t know,” he replied. “Am I my brother’s keeper?”

Genesis 4:9 (NIV)

We are our brother's keepers.
We may not be able to fly across 
the world to make a difference
but everyone of us can do something.
TWEET SOME ENCOURAGEMENT

There are times when reading about mission work that people I know and admire are doing, I get a little discouraged. Not too long after, Thank God, my righteous mind reminds me that there are many ways to give and many mission fields in which we can work. Galatians exhorts us not to grow weary in doing good (Galatians 6:9). It is better to do something, no matter how small, than not to act.  This week, Holley challenged we dreamers to write about our favorite non-profit organizations. There is an organization in our local community that reminds me of the Waterfront Rescue Mission where my dad served as program director until the Lord called him home. For years my family spent every Thanksgiving and Christmas serving members of our community home cooked and lovingly donated holiday meals while providing clothing, gifts and necessities. Where once I spent every holiday at the Mobile Shelter, now my heart belongs to MESH. 

Mesh is Montclair Emergency Services for the Homeless, Inc. They are a “local, faith-based organization dedicated to engaging the Montclair community to provide basic and essential services to Montclair’s most vulnerable homeless adults." It all began when a local Episcopal priest grew increasingly concerned about people we all saw regularly, or perhaps tried not to...our neighbors, sleeping huddled on benches and in shallow doorways during a particularly harsh Northeastern Winter. Ours is a community where may residents do well. He decided that as a community, we could do better.  

I haven’t poured nearly enough time or resources into MESH yet, but the organization is energetically and soulfully led by my friend Gwen Parker Ames. She is a force of nature. More than simply providing meals and emergency shelter, MESH’s larger mission is to educate our community, as early as kindergarten, about challenges faced by the homeless and the hungry locally and globally. Kids in our community attend Homeless and Hungry Fairs where they attempt to construct viable shelters from donated cardboard boxes. It’s fun in the beginning, making Condiment Soup (which is kind of cool according to my son but not at all tasty), but the notion of dropping temperatures, no heat,  and just the merest amount of rain or snow and suddenly, these well-loved, well-fed, well-exposed children have just a frightening glimpse into the lives of their neighbors. Suddenly one of the awful scary things they see on TV are problems to which they can relate, and the lives and struggles of people who were once invisible but now see regularly become very real to them, AND they want to help.

Gwen takes her mission seriously. She lives her beliefs, and through FOGs (friends of Gwen) challenges us all tactically, financially, administratively, to live what we proclaim. We are our brother’s keepers, and while we may not all be able to fly across the world to make a difference in the lives of others, each of us, every one of us, can do something. So, in addition to volunteering at MESH, I’m writing about them, and using my voice to spread the word.  We are our brother’s keepers. All of us.

So whether you packing a bag to go across the world or packing groceries to cook and carry, remember two things,

“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up…” Galatians 6:9 (ESV).

Cain’s question, and the Lord’s answer….”Am I my brother’s keeper?”  We are our brother’s keeper. All of us.

Go. Do. Something. Bless because you can, because no matter how meager your circumstances, even 5 fish and 3 loaves may be shared with a multitude.

Your Spacious Place is Coming

I am pleased and honored to introduce my friend Christine to you in a guest post today.  (My first guest poster ever). She writes at Living Joel 2:25. We met when we thought we were applying to a book launch team. We were, but God had bigger, broader, deeper plans for us, and Christine was among His Plans for me (Hallelujah and Thank You, Lord). We haven't met yet, but she is absolutely my back of the class, wise-cracking, hard-charging, hard-praying, fierce warrior sister forever and ever.  She writes what I need to hear, and prays for me, even when I'm too weak and weary to lift my own pleas to Heaven. She's awesome. 

You need to read what she's written. You will enjoy this, and you will be blessed...

All that is swirling around you right now, does it ever lead you down that path of, “Could it really be true?”

"I don’t know when or what the plan is,
but I know God is at work."
Your Spacious Place is Coming
TWEET SOME ENCOURAGEMENT

Not God.

Not the Word.

Not the incredible fact that Jesus died to take away your sin. 

You got that.  That’s embedded down deep in the fabric of who you are.

But the promises He’s made you specifically?  Those He’s whispered so clearly, you looked around, certain the people next to you heard Him too.  Those He’s written so plainly, it wouldn’t surprise you if you came across your very name in the scriptures,

“I will repay you, Christine Wright, who lives in Florida and loves donuts, for the years the locusts have eaten...” Joel 2:25 (personalized Christine Wright version)

And yet nothing looks to reflect that promise.  Sure, sometimes you get a glimpse and you can feel your heart leap, but as quickly as it comes, it evaporates into more wilderness.  Miles upon miles of wilderness walk.

And all you can do is claim it.  Through tears, through the advice of well-meaning, but sometimes nay-saying friends.  Day in and day out, you claim it.  It is coming.  You know it is.  Because He does not change His mind. 

But eventually, even you start to wonder,

“Did I hear You right God?”

Because how could the promise possibly look like this?  Never did you think the path would be so long or would involve so much.

And yet, that little thread knows, “It’s coming...”

So you keep going.

On.

And on.

I was there.  I am there.  I was broken.  I am broken.  And I am standing here telling you, if you need something to cling to today, if the walk is getting too long and the promises seem like maybe they were meant for someone else, please take this with you for the journey,

Your spacious place is coming.  It is. 

“He brought me out into a spacious place; He rescued me because He delighted in me.” (2 Samuel 22:20 NIV)

I don’t know when or what the plan is, but I know God is at work.  And those promises?  He will keep them.  Just because the road seems never-ending and the path, jarring, doesn’t mean He’s not weaving together the plans He has for you at this very minute.  All because He delights in you. 

I began writing this and over the next two days, things in my own life started taking a nose-dive.  A family member was rushed to the hospital.  A nasty head-cold set in (the kind that makes you want to crawl into a hole), and with it, a bone-deep exhaustion.  To top it off, all manner of God-sized questions (and doubts!) started filling my mind about my God-sized dreams and His promises to me.

And here I was, writing to assure you of a spacious place.

 “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” Luke 22:31-32 (NIV)

It’s not the first time that’s happened.  

Here’s something those times have taught me though.  They aren’t a detour away from my spacious place, or an indication it’s not coming.  It’s merely a pause along the way, for my own good.  A sifting.  A little shake-shake to separate the good grain from the chaff and dust, that’s not worth lugging around.  Meant to lighten the load for the journey ahead.

That spacious place?  Oh, it’s coming, friend.  It is.

____________________________

Christine has a heart for broken women who hide it well.  Women who find it impossible to believe God has a calling for them.  Personally touched by such things as divorce, miscarriage, sickness and alcoholism, she has walked a pain-filled road and believes the places her own heart has broken, are the places she can best help others.  Her life verse is Joel 2:25, “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten...”  Christine is married to Mr. Wright and has four children, ages 16, 14, 7 and 3, which means having a child in high school, middle, elementary and preschool, all at the same time!  She loves writing, pants with crazy prints, a really good nap, walking the beach at early morning, and donuts.  Lots of donuts.  Christine blogs at www.livingjoel225.com. 

Breaking, broken, brokenness…(a check-in)

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18(NASB)

Breaking, broken, brokenness. Broken is my OneWord for 2013. This is where I belong. Broken used to frighten me. I am no longer afraid. This year has been such a revelation, confessing my brokenness, because breaking gave me permission to be free. It gave me permission to be honest, to look at the scariest things, go to the deepest places, to  trust, to grow. To learn, but not to heal. I don’t want to be unbroken. My brokenness reminds me that I must stay close to the Throne, as it is He Who holds me together. I don’t want to be unbroken.

The 34^th Psalm reminds me of my right place; close to my Savior.  

Join me at Still Saturday and at Barbie's Freshly BrewedLife

Use your righteous mind…

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

Philippians 4:8(NKJV)

Today I had a breakthrough. It came at a cost (they always do). I thought I was doing my very best to be thoughtful, considerate, open. Or so I thought. The reality was that I was stuck in my own head, a little self-righteous (not on purpose), long-suffering, mildly but patiently miserable, and apparently spreading it all around. I thought I was doing my very best.

it’s about connecting to the God in you,
to get right with your righteous mind-
letting this mind that’s in Christ Jesus BE IN YOU.
TWEET THIS

Instead of trusting my instincts, instead of praying about it, and then quietly waiting for direction (see Mommy, I am listening), I cast myself as martyr and promptly made everybody miserable. Matthew Henry wisely said, “There is power enough in God to help the weakest, and grace enough to help the unworthiest of all that trust in Him.” Instead of trusting my instincts, instead of praying and then quietly waiting for direction, I thought I knew what I was doing, I was relying upon my own supposed wisdom, and wrecking everything I came across. But today I had a breakthrough.

Breaking through, for me at least, never comes without pain and some tears. But I have come to love my brokenness. So, when my breakthrough came today, it washed over me like relief. Imagine the last time you thought, you knew you were doing it right, and big only to discover you had it all wrong? What did that feel like for you?

Once my clarity came, I had my confirmation. Walking the dog, Donald Lawrence sang my breakthrough.

If ye then be risen risen, risen in Christ in Christ

(Focus)

Set your affections _ on the things of the kingdom [repeats]
If ye be risen, risen -risen in Christ in Christ

Set your affections, affections, on the things of the kingdom

Whatsoever things are true?

Whatsoever things are honest?

Whatsoever  things are just?

Whatsoever  things are pure?

Whatsoever  lovely?

What;s of good report?

Of the renewing of your mind

Your righteous mind

Don't you think it's time?

To reconnect with your righteous mind

Your righteous mind

See your righteous mind is a faith mind

 Your righteous mind is a miracle mind

Jesus came and He did it

Your righteous mind

Time for you to get with it

Your righteous mind

Don't you think it's time?

Let this mind that's in Christ Jesus

Be in you...

Here is what I learned-no matter how surrendered you are, no matter how deeply you try to hide yourself in Him, no matter what you’ve done, or learned, or accomplished, every day, every moment, it’s about connecting to the God in you, to get right with your righteous mind-letting this mind that’s in Christ Jesus BE IN YOU.

Lord, I’m sorry. I thought before I acted. I didn’t pray enough. I wasn’t quiet enough, and I learned the lesson. And thank you, Donald Lawrence, for giving me the soundtrack. I’m back, or at least I’m on my way. And then (But God),

And then, my sisterfriend wrote the encouragement which I’ll be sharing, in my first guest post ever, soon, so stay tuned.

What was the last thing you learned when you thought you were doing everything right?  Please tell me in the comments…But for now, I’m dancing to Your Righteous Mind.